I don't want to be perfect, just better...

Friday, April 1, 2011

A Lesson That Was Reinforced

This week has been strange for me. I had one of those fundamental lessons that I learned a long time ago reinforced to me.

I believe that life is meant to teach you lessons and if you forget or never the learn the lesson you have to repeat it.

Since age 18, I've tried to live my life with no limits.

Since 25, I've done it.

I haven't let whatever circumstances (pregnant and dumped, jobless, homeless, lost, destitute) I've found myself in to limit me. Yes, I've had moments of doubt sometimes days or even a month but I don't lose sight of what I want.

I have set goals and sacrificed whatever needed whether people, places or things to meet my goals.

Sure I would like to live closer to family, in my home state, raise my children surrounded by all the sights and sounds, festivals and traditions that I grew up with but I know that some things in life can't be repeated.

Sure I miss some of the people that I was once close to but people come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime. If they aren't around it is because their season and reason have expired.

When I hear people tell me that they "can't" I lose a little respect for them. Unfortunately or fortunately for them I don't suffer fools and my foolishness threshold is low.

It matters not to me if it something minor or major; can't to me means will not try.

I rank people. Everyone starts off at 50 when I meet them. I start adding and subtracting as I get to know them.
  • Say something ignorant -10
  • Say something profound +10
  • Tell Lies -25
  • Rudeness to others
  • Rudeness to me
  • Argumentative +10
  • Argumentative & Incorrect -50
  • Defeatist attitude - 20
  • Lateness
  • Deflecting direct questions
  • Apprehensive or Nervous

I'm sure it is wrong of me judge people so harshly but this is my life and I refuse to start/continue a relationship with someone who is not aware enough of the basic courtesies and let them hang around past their reason and their season.

Have you had to let a friendship go? Was it painful? Was it over something minor or major?


  1. Yes, I've let a friendship go. It wasn't easy, but it needed to be done. I'm better for it, and I don't regret it. At all.

    I wouldn't say it was major, but it was definitely a difference of opinions on a number of issues. It was not something I could have in my life anymore as it was toxic to me, and changing who I was. I didn't like what I was becoming.

    Letting the friendship go was hard because of where I was at the stage of my life. I wasn't near family, and the people I met while living there was my family. I valued each of those persons differently, and we all needed one another. However, in time, I realized that person wasn't adding value to my life. That person had to go. It was awkward for awhile because of the family all of us had established, but in time that went away.

  2. My husband always says, "some friendships just have an expiration date," which I think is so true. Of course, that doesn't make it any easier to let them go, but sometimes you just have to do it. I've done it a few times...and hope I never have to again. Unfortunately, though, once someone has stopped bringing anything to the table, it's simply time to "expire."

  3. @Tina & @HealthyEveryDay I think you both are right. That person had stopped bringing anything of value to to the table.

    All of our conversations were starting to revolve around nothing but memories.

    They seemed to be uninterested in making new ones and still seem stuck in that mindset that we shared years ago. I see now that I was the one who has grown and they have stayed the same.

    I can't be upset with her for being the same.