I don't want to be perfect, just better...

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Rethinking Employer Relations, Overactive Brain, Ruffled Emotions or My Life the Last Month

Have you ever felt used?

Not just for your material possessions but for WHO you are?

I know I'm not a celebrity.

I know I'm not wealthy.

I know I'm not really influential except to my inner circle but lately I felt like someone is using me/my truth telling/brutal honesty/personality for their own gain.

And I don't like it. I feel like this person is bringing me to events to bolster their standing, to make themselves seem more professional and upstanding.

I'm sure you are going to say "You are good with the scalpel. Excise them from your life." I know, I have no problem dumping people from my life.

Normally, I would.

Now, what if I told you this person was my boss?

Oh, you have a different reaction now! Don't you? Go ahead and admit it.

I have had an overactive brain these last couple of weeks. It is during these stages that I get epiphanies not just about myself but the people around me. Traits that I have ignored up until now are revealed to me in stark clarity until I can't ignore them.

Which isn't good. I can't concentrate on the task at hand. I lose the ability to formulate my thoughts with all the points I want to include. I dwell on things that I should be able to let go of easily. When my brain is on full throttle like this it means my emotions are out of whack. Just like this:

I'm not good at settling my emotions when they are so out of control. My normal remedy is to cut my losses and run from what is driving me around Crazy like a demented traffic circle in hell.

Yes, I could probably quit my job and live very frugally on savings and the Hubbster's salary until I find another job. If I did quit, I could concentrate on graduate school, spend more time with Superhero and Princess, get two hours in the gym and really work on my fitness goals plus work more on the things I would rather be doing writing, reading, researching and growing my small business.

These see sawing feelings have lead me to rethink my thoughts on employer-employee relations.

Does your employer have the right to benefit from who you are not just the skill set you bring to the table? Should you get more compensation for serving as the exemplary model? Are you hired by an employer for your skill set or your personality or some combination of both?

Over the last few months my work load has doubled, then tripled and it keeps increasing and I haven't received any compensation. None. No additional perks. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. 

I'm doing things that are way beyond my original job description. The work I'm doing qualifies as executive level work - work that if you hired someone to do they would be getting twice or more my current salary.  I have asked for a position review, salary increase, title bump - something that gives me something more. I haven't received anything. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Right now. I don't know how to calm my brain and my emotions. I have so many thoughts in my head that are swirling around like a tornado. The problem is that tornado is ripping through my emotions like it would a trailer park.


  1. I can absolutely relate to this. I feel taken advantage of at times not only for my skills but also for my personality, reputation with the company and general work ethic. I'm the go to person but Im not seeing any go to money. Thank you's only go so far. I have had to "coach" my boss and his boss on how to treat me (if you say Im valuable then treat me as such) and what my boundaries are. (come in on my day off so you can go play golf? No sir, I cant. I have a Dr appt that I have to make). Hopefully the situation will balance its self out for you without having to quit. Sometimes you just have to teach people how to treat you or they won't know any better.

  2. @godsgorgeousgift "I'm the go to person but Im not seeing any go to money. Thank you's only go so far."

    If I hear one more "Thank you" and "When we are fully funded" I swear up and down I'll make some furniture move... You can't keep expecting me to do more and not get anything in return. I'm tired of waiting and waiting for my rewards. Give me something now or let me go.

  3. I deal w/ my emotions as well. When I feel wronged I give people they're walking papers and keep it right on moving. I think God is working on me though. I'm trying the task of just telling people how I feel. They may not like it but who gives a .... My goal is to let people know that I'm on to their foolishness and just keeping it moving. My goal is to build my business and work for myself. I don't want anyone profiting from my ideas and expertise. But just pray on it! God knows and sees all!