I have a normal kid. Well, Superhero is as normal any young black man with Attention Deficit Disorder with Hyperactivity and an auditory learning style.
He also has a penchant for science fiction and fantasy books (ask him about the Percy Jackson/Ranger's Apprentice books and you will get a dissertation),
However, it isn't his ADHD or his auditory learning style that are the root of his problems at school.
In popular culture, young black men are only one of four things - athletic, gay, gangsters/thugs, and nerds.
There is no country for "normal" young black men in popular culture.This is Superhero's sophomore year in high school and I guess that the other boys have segregated themselves into groups and he has started to feel left out.
On top of the perceived exclusion, he is often bullied just because of his normalcy. I know, Superhero is well over six feet tall; who would bully him? Whole groups of boys, that's who.
My son has to feel lost and out of place because he isn't playing sports, a gangster/thug or a nerd. Yes, he like all the other kids has a capacity to be any of those things but those categories aren't his primary personality or identifier.
I literally don't know what to tell him some days. I can't force on him the knowledge that other people's opinions don't matter when we know that sometimes in life they do matter very much. I can't tell him to ignore them because he obviously can't or won't.
Superhero has taken to sagging. He knows that this is strictly not allowed in this family, not with my father in law the former Master Sergeant around, nor two more former military members and my own sense of aesthetic. However without fail he comes home from school showing the band and more of his underwear trying to emulate those around him. I think he does this to try to escape feeling so different. How can I explain to him that he is different - not better, not worse just different.
I'm tired of this drama but have few limited options. There is no book out there "How to teach a young man NOT to sag" because it seems like the more we make fun and ridicule those saggy disgusting ass men and children aping them; the more and harder they feel the need to show their asses.
Myself, when I felt different in school found others like me which isn't what Superhero wants to do or he feels there aren't any like him. What do you tell your child who has problems fitting in with those around him?